Saturday, January 21, 2006

Candidate Speech: Lord, Please help me find my original self.

Where do I want to go? Why do I live in this world? what should I do and whatI should have done? what's the significance of my life? Is there something I ammissing which makes it so difficult to advance to next phases of my life?When I was a child, I dreamt of just being a teacher.... now Im an engineer!when I was in high school, I asked God, please let me be a valedictorian, andHe did made me one. I promised this is the last thing I will ever ask.But when I graduated in high school, prayer and faith in God saved me. Godgave the scholarship... maybe its the answer my prayers. I often said to myself"Kung gusto talaga ako ng Diyos na makatulong sa pamilya ko...". I often silently say this whenever I feel hopeless to reach my dreams in life. But Godhas been so nice to me. When Im in college, I asked God to make me a Cum Laude...He did helped me again. Though I promised thats the last thing I will ask fromHim, He still give me more and never returns my promises. During those hardships,I often say "Lord, kayo na lang po nagmamahal sa akin." I often feel reliefwhenever I virtually accept that there is still someone loving me which is God.But then, after graduation till now, my life has changed. Before, I was sodependent on God's comfort through prayers and meditation, but I even hatelistening to his words. Before, I love to read the bible hoping it will help mefinish my studies, but now the bible I used to read has been covered with dust.Before, I always think for the welfare of my family and I even dedicate to them why Im doing all this, but now I am more on working just for the happiness andpleasure of myself. WHY????????????????????????? I want to change and go back tomy old self... HOW????????????????????? The people, the workplace, the influences,the technologies, the culture and everything has engulfed my original self andhas transformed me into a little devil which is slowly growing as each day passes.Im so afraid about what my life will be. Im happy to what Im doing right nowbut I think I will be more happy if what Im doing is what Im supposed to bedoing based on my original self. Lord, Please help me find my original self. >>Read diary


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