Gay Frog Prince

Gay Frog Prince
By Sherwin Salazar, February 2005

Most of us, if not, all believe the frog prince and his princess lived happily ever after. But did anybody ever wonder what would have happened if the prince turns out to be gay?

Good morning ladies and gentlemen, I am the frog prince, constantly embattled why my first love’s kiss turned me into a frog, and no matter where I hop, my fairytale grew from hopeless to pathetic. Mind you, at the age of seven, I already dreamed of my prince in shining armor, who would snatch me from the murky waters of danger, saddle me on his horse, protect me in his castle, and finally vanquish my virginity. I asked my mom back then what virginity meant, and she told me it’s a gift being offered to the one you love. If that’s a gift, then mine would come in a big box wrapped in fancy paper and colorful ribbons. I was so convinced my prince would be happy when he finally opens the box and finds out what I have for him.

But I came to find out that it takes more than virginity to please your prince; that was when Jasper pranced into my life. I was 11 back then, practically a queen, and Jasper my classmate was a star. I invited him over at our house so I could show him my G.I. Joe collection. YES, back in the 80’s boys do play with dolls! There we were playing, when suddenly a dark cloud hovered over me and POW! I kissed him. Jasper was dumbfounded, his mouth hung open. And the highlight of it all was when I said, “Jasper, I love you,” then he finally scrammed out of the door as if he had seen a ghost. And there I was, magically turned into a frog with an acute case of heartbreak

High school came and everything suddenly seem so different, when the most beautiful thing in the world walked in to my life, Benjamin - an eloquent debater, a writer for the school paper and the boy who adores Bonggo, his Dalmatian pet. A talent for gab, a mind full of color and a pet transformed into a fitting substitute for a partner – yes, this one has to be gay, or for those who disagree just can just shoot me please! To cut the story short, Benji and I became close friends. I was almost convinced we were reliving the King David and Jonathan tandem – the first ever recorded soul mates from the book of Samuel. But when I admitted to him I’m gay and I had this tiny little crush on him, he puked, he rolled over, and wailed. He then asked me, “WHY?” “What do you mean WHY?” He just blurted, “WHY do you have to be gay, “WHEN ALL THE WHILE I THOUGHT YOU’LL BE MY PRINCE.” I was like, “WHAT?”

It turned out Benji was crazy in love with me. Love is too much of a commitment for a teenager who excelled in doing anything stupid. I have to admit, I got cold feet over love and over Benji. So, I ditched him flat! From then on, I only had flings. I had no relationships, no commitments, no I-love-you’s. It was a good thing you don’t include these in your resume. Otherwise I wouldn’t qualify for any job.

While all the gays my age mature when they entered college, I got stuck to the ‘happily ever after’ antics of fairytales – the exact antithesis of my existence. The same fairytale which taught me there is hope in 'happily ever after', took that hope away. Besides, it didn't take much longer for Snow White, the Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella to realize they were all married to the same guy, Prince Charming. . For although I am convinced that polarity between homosexual and heterosexual love is pretty obvious, one similarity seem elusive. Love, gay or not is about risks. And all fairytale princesses took that risk. They took a chance with Prince Charming. At the end of the day, they are not so mythical after all; very much the same with that princess who took her chance with the frog prince, no matter how green, filthy and slimy looking frog it was, needless to say, very gay. That’s what it takes to be a princess; having the courage to pour some love, at the risk of it being unwanted.

Now, I’m wondering. Am I willing enough to take that same risk? YOU BET I AM! I am a real princess!! For all the princes and princesses at heart, keep on kissing, who knows, the next one might be the right frog for you.